Interview with Elisabeth Tielenius Kruijthoff (1945, Branch B) and her husband Berthold Raadsen (1945)
On Saturday 4 July, the editor spoke, in the car on the way to Friesland, with Elisabeth, married to Berthold since 1969. Through her mother, Johanna van der Borch tot Verwolde, Elisabeth is a descendant of Fonds Stoop. She was born on 8 or 9 April 1945, the liberation day of Vorden, at Vorden Castle. The reason for the confusion about her exact date of birth is that at that time there was both a German and a Dutch time. It may also have had to do with the fact that her sister (Karin) and brother (Diederik) are both “Sunday’s children” (born on a Sunday). Since 8 April 1945 fell on a Saturday and Elisabeth was born towards midnight, it may be that things were fudged a little to make this child a Sunday’s child too…
Elisabeth is the mother of Nadjeschda, Priscilla and Barbara and grandmother of two grandsons and a granddaughter. She occupies herself with bridge, once played tennis intensively but is now “retired” and enjoys watching exciting matches at, for example, Wimbledon and the Australian Open, and also makes mixed-media artworks. With her husband she has travelled and still travels almost all over the world, and enjoys walking there and at home. A cup of cappuccino a day is an important ritual. When there is nothing to do for a moment, she likes to do puzzles: in the newspaper or on the iPad.
Elisabeth is now 81 and attended all the Stoop Celebrations held from the moment she came of age. That is 13 in total by now. She attended her first celebration when she was 18. The year was 1963. In those days the “long” dress code was strictly enforced. Long means: dresses at least down to the ankles for the ladies, and gentlemen neatly dressed in a dinner jacket. Elisabeth still remembers her white dress well. Her mother had attached a corsage of pink roses to the top edge of the bodice: “I felt just like a princess”. The celebration was then held at the Kurhaus in Scheveningen, which at the time had the allure of a palace. She felt very much at home there, partly thanks to the many handsome distant cousins with whom she danced and flirted that evening. Promptly at midnight the celebration was over and the Wilhelmus (the national anthem) was sung. Unfortunately, Elisabeth was not allowed to join an after-party held by uncle Kaak and aunt Jacky Leclerc in their cellar in The Hague. Her older brother and sister, Diederik and Karin, were allowed to go there, but Elisabeth’s mother made her go back to the house of Moes (her grandmother). That was a disappointment; Elisabeth was also never able to experience such an after-party at this uncle and aunt’s afterwards.
Incidentally, Elisabeth tells us that her first “Stoop dress” was not long as it should have been. Diederik had brought back a beautiful piece of fabric from one of his sea voyages, but it turned out not to be sufficient to also cover the ankles. The dress came to just over the knees. She made up for that in 1968 with a magnificent green-and-gold brocade dress, which was worn by her granddaughter at the 2018 Stoop Celebration.
Another memory comes from Berthold. In 1968, as Elisabeth’s fiancé, he was allowed to come to the Stoop Celebration for the first time. He found the very idea of a Fund a bit strange, but he could certainly appreciate the celebration.
That time, too, the Kurhaus was the venue. He found the custom of calling everyone uncle and aunt hilarious. Especially because he also addressed younger descendants with this title. Perhaps the current custom of calling each other cousin causes less hilarity.
Elisabeth interrupts him: “Do you still remember the time you wore a polo-neck jumper under your dinner jacket and Joop (Elisabeth’s sister Pauline’s then husband) wore a dinner shirt with coloured dots on it?” Apparently a complaint about the gentlemen was made to Elisabeth’s mother. Berthold: “Mummy
came to me to relate that complaint and I said: Mum, if the family has anything to say about our choice of clothing, send them on to me. Why should you have to answer for that?” Whether Johanna did so is not known, but no further complaints reached Berthold and Joop. He also remembers that the old aunts so enjoyed seeing how enthusiastically he and Elisabeth danced in style. They said: “Look, what a nice couple dancing over there.” Elisabeth is suddenly reminded of her grandmother Moes, who wore her petticoat to a Stoop Celebration. It was so beautiful that Moes thought it a shame to cover it with a proper dress. She even went out to dinner in it at Hotel L’Europe.
The answer to the question of what Fonds Stoop means to Elisabeth is fairly simple: “it is above all very lovely that it exists. It is quite special that this large family, with so many branches, gets the opportunity to see each other at least once every five years, isn’t it? And now that STO-Bos are also being organised, it only gets nicer! Although it would be even nicer if more descendants came to the STO-Bo.” The added value of Fonds Stoop has already proven itself several times, not only in general, but also in particular for her eldest daughter, who went to fashion academy at the end of the 1980s. This was a private school and very expensive at the time. Fonds Stoop helped to pay the bill for it. The Fund subsequently offered support to the daughters more often, and recently also to a grandson.
Does Elisabeth have any suggestions for Fonds Stoop? Compared with other funds, the Fund is already quite progressive, she thinks. It might, however, be nicer for the “in-laws” if they too were allowed to attend the descendants’ meeting. Now they have to wait until their partners have finished meeting. But whether that is possible is something for the general meeting to discuss. Much has already changed: there is a beautiful website, a newsletter is sent out and social media channels have been set up to inform the young people too. However, the five-year gap in discovering what the financial state of affairs is is quite long. It would be nice to be able to read about that in the newsletter at least once a year. Not at a detailed level, but in broad terms: are the shares doing well, have they risen or fallen and why? These are subjects that can be discussed at the descendants’ meeting.
Elisabeth remembers, for instance, that there was once a lively discussion at the meeting about a woman joining the board. Her aunt Henriëtte was in favour of women’s emancipation and eventually managed, with the support of other aunts, to get Albertine Duin-van Lynden a seat on the board. So you see that trends disappear and return again: Henriette van Riemsdijk-de la Bassecour Caan (1879-1938) had already been a commissioner well over a century earlier. “In any case, there could be more discussion at the descendants’ meeting,” Elisabeth thinks, “but then it has to be about relevant subjects. Such as, for example, when a descendant dies and the long-term spouse/partner is suddenly, after years, no longer welcome at the celebration. Could we not change something about that?” Fortunately, this has been different for years now.
Meanwhile the car whizzes along the motorway and we are almost at our destination. I (the editor) reflect on how interesting it is to hear how the Stoop Celebration was celebrated versus what I myself experience now that I attend it. How nice it is to let older descendants tell of their experiences with the Stoop Celebration and Fonds Stoop!
Would you like to be interviewed about your experiences with Fonds Stoop? Then let us know via redactie@stoopfonds.nl. The result becomes even more interesting, of course, when you have relevant photos that may be shared with the article.